I was awakened from a nap on the couch when Robert popped a movie into the DVD player. My glasses were off so I couldn’t see anything, but I knew the film from the first couple of chords in the orchestra.
  • Me: Is that Hitari? (For those that don’t know, this is a 1962 safari film with mostly rugged male characters and the two women are straight out of the 1950s)
  • Robert: Yes. I decided I wanted to watch a film in which women are portrayed in a positive light.
  • Me: Cute. Real cute.
A little later… still without my glasses (I hate this film), listening to the iconic voice of John Wayne…
  • Me: You know, his line delivery is really quite suspenseful – the way he pauses before the final noun in each sentence. He’s like a grammatical Alfred Hitchcock!
  • Robert: I bet it annoyed the hell out of his wife. “I’m going to the (pause) store. Ya want anything?”
  • Me: Too bad he’s dead. People could hire him for their gender reveal parties: “It’s a (pause)….”
  • Robert: Can you imagine him working as a Police dispatcher? “There’s a murder in progress at (pause) Ohp…too late.”
  • Me: I’d love to hear him speak German, since all the important stuff is at the end of the sentence!
  • Robert: I guess that’s why they never cast him as Hitler in WWII movies. He would completely destroy the big ranting speech at the Berlin rally.
  • Me: Yeah. That’s totally the reason why… 🙄
However, John Wayne as Hitler would make a good SNL sketch.