Works in Progress

I am a Driskell, which means throwing garbage into its designated receptacle is always done from where you are at the time the item becomes disposable. One does not approach said receptacle. Oh no! If you are a football field... Continue Reading →

Text message thread between me and my daughter Emily. Me: We start three days of juries tomorrow. Fun times! It's better than grading papers... mayyyybe. Although, I can grade papers in my pajamas, so there's that. Emily: Truuuue. And you... Continue Reading →

Me: (starts telling a story to Robert, but falls asleep mid-sentence) Me: (two hours later, waking up from nap) "...and then..." (continues story from the exact point where snoring began earlier) Robert: (shakes head, chuckling) "How the heck do you... Continue Reading →

Robert: (loading the dishwasher) I knew I should've done this yesterday. I can't fit everything in here now. (Frustrated there's no spot for one last plate) Me: Just put that one behind the other plates. Robert: I can't do that!... Continue Reading →

If you know me, you know I hate the F-bomb and almost never use it, unless I'm pretty upset. If you know my spousal unit, you know he is a very mild-mannered and quiet person who occasionally chortles under his... Continue Reading →

My spouse has decided to invest some free time each day into a new television series called Chicago Med. The very few random times I'm actually home for a meal also happen to line up perfectly with Robert's intake of... Continue Reading →

When people are being loud and obnoxious outside your window and it suddenly begins raining really hard.

Preface: I struggle with several spatially related issues, one of which includes having absolutely no sense regarding which Tupperware lid fits what container. It's a source of great delight for Robert who runs toward the kitchen every time he hears... Continue Reading →

Robert: (Crossing the eastern Missouri border) Illinois, a pretty smart state in spite of being smack in the middle of the midwest. Now that's one heck-uv-ah slogan.

I have just decided that working on your retirement plan should be an Olympic event.

More Lynn household banter/mockery. Me: (totes in stressed-out composer mode because I have to jot down an idea before it disappears from my brain - yes, this is my daily life) Hey...hand me one of those...y'know...one of those...(still can't conjure... Continue Reading →

My normally quiet, understated spouse suddenly began a lengthy monologue about Concannon's marvelous donuts in Muncie, Indiana. With zero arguments or prompting from me, his voice went into molto crescendo apassionato as he became more and more vocally and gesturally... Continue Reading →

Robert: (gazing at my desk in amazement) "It's a good thing you didn't become a surgeon." Me: "Why?" Robert: "There'd be body parts everywhere with sticky-notes on them - 'Fred Johnson's spleen,' 'Mary Smith's appendix,' and you'd be digging through... Continue Reading →

Autocorrect Saga: Episode #2 The Manchester Symphony board frequently uses the acronym GARF in our e-mail and text correspondence. My phone keeps changing it to FART. Needless to say, it stinks.

My spouse (who teaches music history): "I need to find a postal meter so I can grade these term papers."

Autocorrect Saga: Episode #1 I was sending a message of gratitude to an acquaintance this evening and my phone auto-corrected the word "Wunderbar!" to "Underwear!" I'm sure glad I read the message before I hit 'send.'

I almost choked and died today. As I was eating my lunch, Emily was testing out popular styles to find the best option for singing Samuel Barber's "O Boundless Boundless Evening." I was doing okay until she landed on hardcore... Continue Reading →

Robert: "What is it with cats? They crawl onto your lap and slap at you when they want to be petted or get a belly rub. And what do we do? We pet them - after they slap us! If... Continue Reading →

Wow. Post vax update: I was feeling okay-ish yesterday afternoon for a couple of hours, but then got slammed pretty hard for round two of chills, fever, and noodle-legs. Went home, took Ibuprofen, and crashed. That was around 8 pm... Continue Reading →