I was conducting a full Mozart Requiem rehearsal (about 250 people including orcs, several area choirs, plus 4 guest soloists) when I felt the choristers weren’t singing with as much conviction as I deemed necessary. So, I proceeded to give a very literal translation of the Latin text for that particular phrase, which included the word semini (“seed” — specifically that which emits from males for procreation). I immediately remembered that some of the guest choirs were high school groups and commenced apologizing profusely. No one heard me over the raucous din of laughter, unfortunately.

Now you know why I don’t teach public school.